it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
