They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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