So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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