Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
