I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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