im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize