Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
