this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
