Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
