Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
