all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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