I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
