You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
