Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
