And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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