I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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