Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize