Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
