To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize