Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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