I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
