yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
