I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
