She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
