There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
