i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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