He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
