If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
