just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
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