I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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