Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
