We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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