we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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