I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
