u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
