real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
so let's talk penis.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize