Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just had sex on a roof
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
