ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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