Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
