i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
