Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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