you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
ttyl tear gas
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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