Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
drinking out of a sandbucket again
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
