please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
