When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
