I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
We got so high we made milksteak
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
you had me at cake vodka
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
