I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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