This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
MIDGETS
????
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
