You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he was CRYING into my vagina
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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