Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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