Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize