she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
