her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
