His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
