dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
