Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
