jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize