i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
