apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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