I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
