It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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