when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
