come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
