I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
