He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
