I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
