I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
two words...techno handjob
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
