Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize