Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
