I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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