And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Randomize
