I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Randomize
