Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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