Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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