But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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