can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
